Role Model
by The Broken Keyboard
Summary: Alex Mercer is reluctant, but he has no choice but to take a child under his care. As the days go by, his jealousy of the child's emotions wanders away, but then Blackwatch comes to take it all away...
1. Reluctance

Dana didn't approve of the whole thing, but the kid had nowhere to go.

* * *

His family, slaughtered like pigs in the mass horde of the Infected. I saw them, the horror I've grown used to; But this one was different. Seeing a child, crying his poor eyes out while he watches his mother being torn apart by two Hunters...Now that was something I couldn't get out of my head. It belonged there, like the memories I've consumed.

Only this one...This memory I didn't have to obtain by beating the sense out of humans, then greedily consuming their bodies. This one I saw, this one...I was there, in body and in mind, not just one. His tear-stained face made me want to grab him and put an end to his life, that brat...I can't have emotions like those...Sadness, fear, happiness. Since when did I ever experience those?

Never. Never in my existence have I ever felt such a thing. And he had it all, he had it...

And I couldn't take that away from him just because of that sole reason. It was inhuman...Just like me.

How ironic.

I can still feel my teeth ache from when I grounded them, seeing the boy use his emotions so freely, when mine come out so awkward and wrong. How dare he.

But no, I enclosed them, my emotions of hate and jealousy. Greed and just a tinge of lust.

You could say I had all of the seven sins.

And as I started towards him, as a Hunter began to lunge, I wanted to stop right there. Right there and laugh like the evil bastard I was, the boy would cry out and scream for his mommy and daddy, but they were already dead.

But no, I lunged right at the Hunter, hatred seething from me as I transformed, the blade weapon as my choice. Oh, how the feel of it cutting through the Hunter's flesh...Enticing. Ripped it right in two, and as it fell to the ground the blood splattered all over me. It felt so much like an aphrodisiac, I wanted to lose control right there and go for the boy's throat.

But I didn't. Instead I turned to the frightened boy, covered in blood, and knelt down to comfort him. He soiled his pants, but I didn't say anything. Instead I just looked at his frightened face, begging not to be killed.

Somehow, I understood the boy on a level, but not that much. I didn't want to be killed either, but the boy was so fragile...His life was more vulnerable to waste. More than mine...

And right there I knew that I had to protect him, though his free emotions would send me to the brink of jealousy.

I had to protect this boy no matter what.

* * *

"Alex, you know he can't stay for long." Dana said, her eyes narrowing as I cleaned the boy, looking at the fresh pair of clothing I stole from a local thrift-way shop. The boy was still frightened, his murmurs of "Where's daddy?" and "Can I go home?" bothered me. I still felt the gnashing pang of guilt in me. I should have killed him; Took him in an alleyway and tore his heart right out of the chest cavity. But as I cleaned the boy's dirtied face, his bright blue eyes looking straight at me, the thoughts melted away. I felt warm on the inside. Warm and fuzzy...Strange, I never felt that way before. It was odd and alien-like. I felt so...Naked. Didn't like it, so I turned the boy's head around, scrubbing the back of his dirty neck.

"He needs somewhere to stay." I replied, keeping my eyes away from Dana's glare. If there was one thing that I couldn't handle, it was Dana's stare-downs. Somehow...huh...She always seemed to win.

Women.

As I cleaned of the kid's back, Dana kept staring at me. Glaring at me. I wanted to smack her across the face and tell her to go somewhere else. I wasn't in the mood for her, or anyone else for that fact. Finally she turned and left to her room. Thank God.

The boy turned his head to look at me, his big blue eyes still stained with the fear of seeing his parents die. I felt pity for him, and yet I wanted to strangle him with his own guts. He had a family; A mother and a father, someone to take care of him and hold him when he cried, or kissed his wounds whenever he got a boo-boo.

Noone was ever there when I got boo-boos.

Wait, what am I talking about? Ugh, this kid...He's gotten to me. I wringed out the dirty washcloth and looked at him. He was still staring at me. I turned away to pick up the clothes, feeling a bit relieved. I tossed them at him and said, "Put them on. I'll be back." As I was heading out the door, I felt a tug at my jacket. It was the kid.

"P-Please..." His voice cut through me like a knife. It was heartbreaking, and yet his voice, so full of sadness...It crashed inside of me like a crack of lightning. I turned around and patted his back.

"D-Don't...l-leave m-m-" He said, trying to put his clothes on. I sighed and helped him.

"I'll be back, I promise."

"Please! Please!" He clung to me and started to cry. It was disgusting; His tears stained my jacket, his little hands clinging to me with all his might, desperate not to let go. I wanted his tears so I could cry. I deserved them...For what all I had experienced. I wanted to crawl into a corner and die. Instead I was forced to live in this hell, this nightmare that would live on forever. The voices, crying, begging, tormenting me. I wanted solace...Peace...Was this boy the key to it all?

No. That was stupid to say. How could a little boy be the key to all this? Bull.

I hesitated for a moment, not knowing what was worse: The kid's crying, or the crap I'll hear from Dana if I left. Only one choice.

I grabbed the boy and lifted him off the ground. He stopped crying, thank God, but he stared at me with those eyes. I cradled him in my arms; The feeling disgusted me and made me want to wash myself, but I still held him in my arms. A quiet, solemn moment passed before he calmed down and nuzzled into my jacket. I wanted to slam him into the ground right then and there. Beat him until he would be a bloody lump on the hardwood floor. Instead, I just...Held him.

"It'll...It'll be alright," I whispered, into his ear. "You'll stay here with me. Nothing will happen to you. For now, I'll be out for a bit, but I'll promise I'll come back, m'kay?"

The kid looked up at me and nodded, the blank look on his face told me he understood. I brushed his hazel brown hair back and smiled, releasing him. He retreated to the couch and plopped on it, his head popping out from behind the arm rest. I waved, he waved back, and then I took my leave.

I wonder to myself: Should I have left the kid there, under the brutality of the Hunters?

I shook my head of the thought, frowning. "No," I said to myself. "It's just...Inhumane."

Like me.


	2. Time Will Tell

I wanted to curl into a ball and die, and I got my wish. Somewhat.

* * *

I went back to the area where I found the kid; In an alleyway between the Artery Clogger and a bookstore. I'll never forget it. Sunday night, 1:48 AM. Blood everywhere, and I could still hear the kid's cry.

His mother...A bloody stain on the wall. She was stuck there by her own blood, her entrails hanging out from her body. I walked up to her...Her face...Scratched and mauled by the Hunters. Her black flowing hair was caked with blood, what seemed to be fair skin was now mutilated, red, bloodied, ugly. One of her eyeballs hung from the socket. Seemed she had blue eyes.

I turned away, not bearing to look at the sight of her. The concrete, stained with blood from both the parents and the Hunters...Sickening. Then I saw the father. Or what was left of him. There, in the corner, his head. I hesitated, not wanting to look, but the smell of blood...I wanted to stay. The raging animal inside of me hungered for the taste, the sweet, coppery taste of the red elixir. I walked over to the corner and knelt down. The head was turned over. I picked it up. Heavy, as all of the body parts were when their owners left them, to go into a world unknown by mankind.

His face wasn't mauled like the mother's, but blood stained every part of him. Cheeks, hair, face...I had to control myself, resisting the urge to lose control and greedily lick the blood from the corpse.

I should be ashamed, but I am not. Why is that?

I turned the head over for a closer look. Brown hair. Brown eyes. They were still open. Oh God...

I still remember the screams I heard from the boy, crying over his mother and father, begging for them to wake up. Why now? Why now did I feel this...panging guilt of not saving them?

Was it because I was too late to save them? Or was it the fact that they might have been still alive, trying to cling on to those last few threads of life, just to be with their son?

I took two fingers. Closed the eyes. I stood up and went back to the mother.

I took one last look at her. A bubbling, seething pit of rage washed over me for some reason.

How come I couldn't remember my own parents? Mom? Dad?

Why aren't you here with me and Dana?

I want to go home...

Something black and slimy came out of my mouth. Grazed the torn cheek of the mother's face. So sweet...I wanted more.

It was mere fuel for the fire. Blood with hate, a perfect match. I lapped up the dried blood from the left temple. So good...

NO! This was shameful. I turned away, grabbing ahold of myself. My hands shook, lower lip quivered. Never in my life have I felt so...dirty. Cleansing wasn't an option. I was made this way, but even monsters can change.

Can they?

My stomach lurched, puked right in the alleyway. How could I...? All the blood I just greedily took from the dead, all came out in the bile. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe I am changing.

No...The hate still ran free through me. I wiped my mouth and walked out of the alleyway. It was going to take a lot of willpower not to tear the boy apart now...I just have to be in control...

* * *

Dana was sitting on the couch with the boy. He was still awake. They were watching TV. As soon as I stepped in, he looked to the door and saw me.

I couldn't put on a fake smile. I couldn't even smile if I wanted to.

He immediately ran to me, hugging me. His small arms couldn't wrap around me. I was too big for him. It was sweet. I patted his head and looked at him. He as already looking at me.

"Alex...Where were you?" Dana said from the couch, looking at me. I didn't pay attention. My eyes were on the kid. Hazel brown hair...Just like his papa's. Those big blue eyes...His mama had them. A big silent grin spread across his face, I could tell he was still sad on the inside, but wanted me to feel happy.

I wasn't. The kid could smile. I couldn't. The sight of him and his family there...Side by side...Laughing, playing, having a good time. With all my might, I kept the urge to smack the boy across the face inside of me.

How come Dana and I never did those things? We were still brother and sister...Weren't we?

But I'm not Alex Mercer. I'm just a clone of him. On the inside...I'm the Blacklight Virus. Programmed to infect and kill. I'm...Nothing.

So if I'm nothing, then why is this kid trying to make me feel happy?

I bit my lower lip. It was starting to tremble.

"Alex...? Are you okay?" Dana asked. "You look as though you're about to cry."

Cry? What's...cry? I pushed the boy away and walked into the bathroom. Locked it. I shook all over, my stomach felt so sour, so sick. A lump grew in my throat. The boy lost his parents, and I just assaulted his mother's corpse. What kind of person am I?

But that's just it. I'm not a _person_. I'm a _thing_. I'm a monster. I looked at myself in the mirror. Alex Mercer was a monster too. He threw the vial down in Penn Station, as a last "Fuck you" to the world.

I'm nothing like him, but I'm something much more than him.

Was I about to cry? My eyes were watery, but nothing dripped down from them. Monsters can't cry...Monsters can only hate. Alex Mercer was Frankenstein, and I was the product of his dreams. Rage seethed threw me. I smashed the mirror with my fist. Dana knocked on the door. I couldn't hear anything, the pounding hate rang through my ears.

Like I wanted to hear anything from Dana anyways.

I could hear small pounding. It was the kid. I didn't care. Blood dripped from my hand. Glass was embedded on my knuckles. The knuckles were split when I released my fist. Pain was my friend...I embraced it. Sadness wasn't the cure for anything. I couldn't cry, so why did it matter? Again, and again, I pounded the mirror; The blood dripped into the sink.

It wasn't my blood anyways. It was the blood of the people I've consumed. The delicious red liquid left my hand, free from the prison it was in.

Dana and the kid were pounding on the door, shouting for me to open the door.

Like hell I was.

Their cries...To see if I was okay. They didn't mean it, did they? I growled and grabbed my head. They wouldn't shut up. I can't hear myself speak.

Wetness trickled down my cheeks.

_"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"_ The shout came out more like a whine, a childish whine. I groaned, started to sob. I felt something wet on my cheeks. What was it? Blood?

I grabbed what was left of the mirror and threw it on the opposite side of the wall. It shattered so beautifully, but I still whined like a child, crying.

Crying? Did I just say that? Was I really...? I slid inside the tub and curled up into a ball. Please...Why was I crying? I didn't deserve such a gift.

The door opened. It was locked. How could it be open?

The boy came in and looked at me, trembling all over. I could hear him sobbing too. Did he share my pain as well? I could hear him crawl into the tub.

"Go away," I said, my voice muffled by my clothing.

He didn't leave. Instead, he hugged me. I twitched, the feeling still so foreign to me. Why did he hug me? I didn't even deserve it...

He grabbed my hand, the one that I beat the mirror with. The boy sobbed softly as he removed the glass from my hand. I could feel Dana's presence, looking through the doorway. I opened my eyes. The kid was still picking the glass out. He looked up at me and put on a smile, reaching out to wipe away the tears from my face.

_So I was crying..._

Dana gave him a first aid kit, and the boy went right to work on my hand. I felt so much better after crying. I don't know why that happened. I still don't know as I think of it now. He still had that tender smile as he wiped the blood away, as he wrapped my hand up. It wasn't much use. The wounds would heal in a couple of minutes, anyway. It was still sweet though.

...The kid was like a parent somehow, I don't know. The way he cared for me, the worried look on his face when he saw me curled into a ball in the bathtub. It was tender and loving, and I was an ungrateful bastard. Why was I given this gift sent from heaven? Did I deserve it? No...

Yes...?

Maybe...Time will tell...Time will tell...


	3. Monster

**A/N: EDIT: *idiota* I realized thanks to my friend, Tebs, that anything organic was considered alive...I should pay attention in Science class more often...Then again, they never teach us anything in science. Changed it to make Alex's body detect anything organic that's been dead for too long...and it will expel it out. Major pull here.**

Suddenly, I felt a cold chill down my spine. Someone was watching us...No, someone, whoever it was...They were watching the kid.

* * *

"So, you feeling alright?" Dana asked, popping a forkful of scrambled eggs into her mouth. "You had me scared for a bit." I chuckled softly, poking at the scrambled eggs she fixed for me. I didn't feel like eating...Then again, I couldn't eat anything that was dead for too long, like eggs. Biomass needed something fresh and alive in order to function. Eggs were already dead.

"How come you're not eating?" Dana asked, looking at me suspiciously. I frowned and shrugged. "Not hungry," I replied.

"You're never hungry."

"Yes I am."

"Then how come I don't see you eat?" Her eyes narrowed. It suddenly got stuffy in here...Or was that just me?

"I eat when I go out."

"...And come to think of it, I never saw you take a shower before."

I coughed into my hand and looked the other way. Thankfully, the kid was right there, staring at us behind the couch. I frowned and waved him in. He smiled and eagerly ran into the kitchen and hugged me. Affection...It's still so foreign to me...But I hugged him back, his soft, small body and the little giggle that came from him as I did gave me feel that warm, fuzzy feeling that I had when I hugged him yesterday. It still felt weird, but not so much as it did last time. He let go of me and looked at my bandaged hand, which was fully healed; Only the cloth was bloodied, but underneath, the cuts on my hand were gone.

Dana smiled and leaned over to grab my plate of eggs and started on those.

"...You never told me your name," I said, breaking the ice of the small silence. "What's your name?"

The boy frowned, shifting from one leg to the other. "...Lionel..." He said shyly.

"Lionel...Eh? I like your name."

"Thank you." He looked away and smiled shyly. Frankly, it was kind of cute. The boy starting to rub off on me...I didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Would you like to go out and get something to eat?" I asked him. Dana looked at me, her mouth open with egg still in it. I looked at her and frowned. "It's for him, not for me."

She was still staring at me.

"I told you I wasn't hungry!"

"...Mhm..." She looked down at the plate and stood up. "These eggs would go great with some hot sauce." I looked back at the kid and tousled his hair.

"So, where would you like to go for breakfast?"

* * *

Went to some place called Norma's...The kid-erm...Lionel...Said that his mom and dad took him there sometimes.

"So..." I said, watching him as he drew in a notebook he took from Dana. "What do you eat from here?" He looked up and said, "Steak and eggs. I like steak and eggs..." I nodded, looking around at the men and women. Chatting, talking freely. Hmmm...My social skills weren't that great, and I bet the real Alex Mercer's social skills weren't that great, either. I felt...Uncomfortable when I was outside, in the public. Y'know...When you go around a lot...And people watch the news...They start to notice you. Now, not all people will do that; Either they're too afraid to point and shout, or they don't want to get caught in the middle of the war Blackwatch and I were fighting.

But it doesn't matter now. I have to watch over this kid...

I order steak and eggs for Lionel, and he ate them without any complaints. He asked me how come I never ate...

"Monsters don't eat." I replied.

"Even monsters have to eat sometimes...But they eat people," He looked up, tilting his head a bit. "Do you eat people?" I felt whatever was left of my heart break in two. I can't tell him that, can I? If I did, would he understand? He's too little and innocent...I don't think he could take it if I said yes.

"Sometimes," I blurted out. I could feel my cheeks grow red from the embarrassment...I felt like flinging myself off of the Empire State Building...If only I wasn't indestructible.

The kid only blinked at me...He finally said, "As long as they're bad people, I don't mind." But that's the thing...They weren't bad. They were innocent people I plucked off the streets. Women, men, even children. I always laughed to myself when I saw the look on their faces, realizing that they weren't going to live to see the next day; reveled in their death as the tendrils that came out of me snaked their way up to their bodies, wrapping around them and dragging them into me...

I shook my head out of the ugly picture, my stomach feeling worse than last night. "Yeah..." I said softly. "They were bad people." Lionel suddenly reached over the table and grabbed my bandaged hand and squeezed it. "Then if they were bad people...Why are you crying?" I blinked, suddenly feeling the tears rolling down my cheeks. Damn...

I wiped them away and looked away from the kid, too ashamed of the fact. "I didn't even know I was crying..." Was my reply. The kid grabbed a forkful of steak and handed it to me. "Eating always makes me feel better...Maybe it will make you feel better." I looked at him, his eyes full of innocence...I wish I had his innocence...Maybe I wouldn't feel like I was right now. I can't eat dead food...My body will expel it out once it finds out it's been dead for too long. I took the steak off of the fork and popped it into my mouth, my taste buds reveling in the taste. Better than humans...I smiled and swallowed it. The kid grinned with joy...His smile made me feel sad suddenly. How come I can't smile naturally? My smiles are fake and deceiving...This kid had smiles galore...I felt happy for him, but not for me. I didn't deserve to have such a wondrous smile as his.

"Can we go to Central Park?" He asked. "I wanna walk around." I nodded and pulled out a wallet from my pocket. It wasn't mines; I picked it off of one of the numerous people I consumed. Debora Jenkins was her name...I still remember the begging I heard from her, showing the picture of her twin boys to me. They were 9, maybe 10 years of age...Wasn't moved by it, so I killed her. I paid the waitress and picked up the kid, putting him on my shoulders as we exited the diner.

"Can I ask you a question?" Lionel asked, grabbing unto my hoodie.

"Shoot," I replied.

"How did you get that big arm thingy...? When you rescued me?"

"Does it matter?"

"...Maybe..." He said softly. He was obviously hurt by the reply. How could I be so rude to him?

"You know the answer; I'm a monster."

"Yeah, but you're not like the other monsters."

As I walked across the street, he started to bite down on my hoodie.

"Why are you biting me?"

"You don't taste like a monster..." He muttered as he released his teeth from my hoodie.

I chuckled. "You know what a monster tastes like?"

"I bit a monster one time...He tasted disgusting."

"...When you say monsters...Do you mean the ones in New York?"

"When my momma and papa and me were walking home, there was a man," I listened as we entered Central Park, taking in the crisp scent of the trees. "He started to attack my mama, and my papa tried to push him back."

"And you attacked the man?" I asked, walking along the small trail.

"I didn't want to stand and watch...I bit him on the leg."

"What did the man look like?"

"He had a lot of blood on him, and these bumps on his face and arms."

I sat down on one of the benches and took the boy off my shoulders, setting him down next to me. "A cop came and shot him."

"What happened to you after that?" I turned on my Infected Vision and stared at him.

"I got sick after...'Just a tummy ache', my mama said." I felt bad for the kid. He was infected, and he probably didn't even know it. Every orifice of his body was glowing a bright yellow, his big blue eyes now a slight red in the vision. "After that, I felt better." He was one of the few that had immunity to the virus. That was good, but that might have side effects. The Redlight Virus made Greene immune; in fact, she made it her own. Now that the kid was immune, the virus was still swirling in his body...I wonder if his body already converted it.

Thankfully, he doesn't know. If he did, he would be able to manipulate it and have powers like Greene and I.

I can't let him turn into a monster...

Suddenly, I felt a cold chill down my spine. Someone was watching us...No, someone, whoever it was...They were watching the kid. I grew nervous and looked behind me. A woman was walking her dog; She probably felt like she was being watched, too, because she turned to look at me and frowned. I turned back around and patted the kid's back.

"Well, you're alright now, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Good. I don't want anything to happen to you."

Lionel blinked and frowned. "You really mean that?"

"Yes..."

He grinned and hugged me. "Then you're not a monster." I cracked a grin, my heart lightening a bit. "What makes you say that?"

"Monsters don't lie."

I looked at him for a moment, suddenly feeling the cold pang of guilt..._Monsters don't lie. _The kid looked up at me and climbed on me, clinging to my chest. He pulled back the hoodie and tousled my hair. "H-Hey! Watch the hair!" I grabbed him and pulled him off of me. He giggled and screamed as I tickled his ribs. "This is what happens when you mess up the hair." I said, a grin creeping across my face. It wasn't until later that I realized that I made a genuine grin, not a fake one...Why didn't I notice it in the first place?

I guess I was having too much fun.

After that, we walked around for an hour and a half, roaming around Central Park. The kid fell asleep, dropped right into the grass. I picked him up and slung him over my shoulder, walking back to the apartment. All the while, I still felt like someone was watching me, burning holes into me. Never have I felt so...Uncomfortable. I slunk into the nearest alleyway, decided to parkour my way to Dana's apartment. The kid woke up when I was in mid-air, and screamed his head off. I calmed him down and told him that I could fly.

"Monsters can't fly! Monsters can't fly!" He shrieked, clinging to me. I laughed at his fear and grabbed him, holding him close to me as I barrel rolled on top of a corporate building. "But didn't you say I'm not like other monsters?" He quieted down and slowly nodded. I grinned and put him on my back, taking a running start before jumping off and gliding. The kid laughed and tightened the hold that he had on my neck. I didn't mind; As long as he was having fun, I didn't care.

Sometime after, I landed next to Dana's apartment, softly, so as not to alert her. As Lionel went inside, I still had the eerie feeling that we were being watched. I can't let the kid go out too often...Whatever was stalking us, it wanted the boy.

I have to keep my eye on him at all times from now on.


	4. Victim

**A/N: Been having writer's block for the past few days...A lot on my mind, like my finals that are in three days x_x ...Enjoy.**

Lionel and I went out for a while, strolled around New York and took in the sights.

"...So you can actually do that stuff?" He asked inquiring about my powers.

"Yeah, and I can do a lot more stuff." Talking about them...It was uncomfortable when I talked about them to him. He seemed to like it. Not me, I didn't like it one bit. It made me feel less human...But then it made me feel better, talking about these things to him. Maybe I'll warm up to it, but then again...

"Like what?" His eyes were bright. He really wanted to know more about me...

"Well...I can make stuff come out of my arms and stuff."

"Really? Can I see?" For a minute, I just stood there, incredulous that the kid wanted to see a monster do this.

In front of nearly 1,000 people.

In broad daylight.

"Well, not here..." I started to get nervous. Was it hot out here or was it just me? "Too many people out here. They'll scream if they see me doing that." I looked around. There were Blackwatch Soldiers, only a few, though. It didn't matter. They wouldn't know that it was me even if I stood in their faces. Lionel nodded, understanding that people would get scared...At least he knew...

"Fine..." With that, we walked, looking at the various citizens.

"See that one?" I said, eyes darting to the woman a few feet away from me. She was walking a dog.

"Golden Retriever?" Lionel whispered.

"...Good eye."

We passed a Blackwatch Soldier, I looked at him before smirking. A few feet away from him was a Super Soldier. He didn't seem to notice me...But that's because his back was to me. I crouched down and grinned at Lionel when we were a good distance away from the brute. "Wanna see something really cool?" I whispered. He nodded, and I stood up and transformed. The last person I consumed was a teenage boy...Maybe about 17, 18? He was robbing some woman in an alleyway, so I consumed him. Let the girl live only if she didn't tell anyone. Lionel's eyes widened as I did this, and a big grin spread across his face. "I wanna do that, too!"

I immediately felt shame wash over me. Poor kid, didn't even know that I had to kill someone in order to do this. ...What kind of role model am I? I guess he saw my shame, because he frowned, too. "Something wrong Alex...?" He asked. I shook the thoughts out of my head, cracked a smile, knowing that it wasn't real. He didn't know, since he smiled as well. "No...Nothing's wrong. Now...See that big guy over there?" I cocked my head in the direction of the Super Soldier. Lionel nodded.

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm gonna pants him." I winked and said, "You stay here, and watch." I took one last look at the kid before blending into the crowd, walking causally behind the Super Soldier. He started to walk as well, talking into the radio. I looked at his pants. Belt was loosened, from what I could tell. All the better to yank 'em right down.

And that's when I heard it.

"...Sir, did you just say that ZEUS had a kid with him?" The Super Soldier was talking tin the radio. Red Crown Command Base, most likely.

_"Keep your voice down, soldier...It is confirmed that ZEUS has a small boy with him, about 8-9 years of age."_

"What's he doing with a kid?"

_"We don't know, but we did run an infection scan through the boy when they were in Central Park."_

My heart dropped. So that's why I felt eyes on me...No...Eyes on Lionel.

"...Is he...?'

_"Seems he is. No signs of infection, though...He may be immune."_

"How can that possibly be?"

_"We don't know, and that's why we need him."_

"What about ZEUS?"

_"Not important. Kill him if you need to. Our main target is the boy now, not ZEUS."_

I stepped back, afraid not for me, but for Lionel. They were going to take him. Take him and experiment on him. I couldn't...I couldn't let them take him. No...They would take him, treat him like some kind of animal...He would be like Greene: A monster, a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. And he'd be like me...A killing machine, never resting until nearly everything on the island is dead. Or...That's how I used to be. After I met Lionel, he changed me. At first, I wanted to kill him, for having emotions that I didn't have. All I had was the cold, heartless soul of a killer...But now...I'm better. I only kill people that deserve it, but even evil men and women need a second chance at life to change. Like me. Lionel is like a medium, channeling his emotions through me, and vice versa. Whatever he feels, I feel. You could say it was a father/son bond, but I can't put it that far...

That's when I bumped into someone, an elderly man who shouted at me when I looked at him. "Watch where you're going! Damn kid..." And, to my bad luck, the Super Soldier turned around, and instantly recognized at me. "It's ZEUS! All units, target on ZEUS!" Everyone around me; People, Blackwatch soldiers, Marines, even another Super Soldier, they all turned to look at me. The same emotions on their faces, it made me feel like a caged animal. I had to get Lionel and get him out of here, but if I did that, Blackwatch would track us down, and corner us.

And if I didn't...They would kill me and snatch him up...I couldn't let that happen.

Instantly, I transformed back and ran, scooping up Lionel and sprinting. The Super Soldiers were already on me, matching my speed in less than a second.

"There's the turd!" One of them shouted, lunging at me. Lionel screamed as I duck and rolled away, shielding him from the impact of the ground. I got up and continued to run, the adrenaline rush reminded me of the times when I ran from the cops after consuming one or two people in public, just to get a kick of the looks of terror I saw on their pathetic faces. But this was different, this wasn't a damn game anymore, this was a matter of safety for Lionel. Those bastards wouldn't take him; They would have to pry them out of my lifeless arms before they could.

Heard a swift, whistling noise before a sudden stinging pain entered me. Shot up my back, didn't know what it was, but it caught me off guard. I stumbled, nearly losing my balance. Lionel screamed; I couldn't let them take him. I quickly regained myself and sprinted faster, but the damn Super Soldiers caught up to me again. Another whistle, but it ran past me this time, a rocket whizzed by me by mere inches, and then I suddenly knew what they were hitting me with. I turned around, my arm transforming into Whipfist. The kid's eyes widened, and I pushed his head down into my jacket. I didn't want him to see this. The soldier who was armed with the rocket launcher was quickly killed, I snatched him up and threw him to the side. It was the best I could do, but the Super Soldiers were already on my ass.

I turned back around, but was kissing the ground in a split second; one of them tackled me to the ground. I covered Lionel from the impact, but that still didn't stop him from screaming. The Super Soldier on top of me turned me around, but his face was greeted by the heel of my shoe as I kicked him. Another one of the brutes grabbed me by my jacket, hoisted me off the ground. "Let go of the kid, Mercer." He said. Anger boiled over me, and I held the kid tighter in my arms. I could feel his little hands cling to my jacket...His fear channeled into me, mixing with the anger. I felt so helpless...There was nothing I could do for him, but he felt reassured that I could help him. Super Soldiers were a little out of my league, even with my powers, they could still grab me and throw me around like a fucking rag doll at sometimes. This was one of those times.

"Let go of me! You're not taking him!" The soldier shook his head and grabbed my arm with his other free hand. Lionel screamed, clinging to me even more. I wasn't going to give him up without a fight. The Super Soldier tried to pry my arm off, trying to loosen my grip from Lionel. Another one of them came up from behind, rammed something into my back. I immediately felt a jolt of pain run up my spine...Crackling noises...It was a stun rod. I had to let go of the kid, he was screaming in pain, feeling the jolt of electricity as well. I went slack, watching in horror as Lionel fell to the ground, while a Blackwatch Commander scooped him into his arms. I couldn't believe it...I couldn't move, couldn't attack, couldn't defend Lionel...Screaming and thrashing in the arms of my enemy.

"Alex! _ALEX!_" His naturally sweet face, full of radiance, now tainted with tears...And there wasn't a thing I could do about it.

"We got the kid..." The commander said. He then pointed a finger to me. "Waste him." He left, taking Lionel with him, breaking my heart, my pride in two. I could still hear his cries as he turned a corner, and the last thing I saw was the butt of an automatic rifle, and then stars...


	5. Shoulder Devil

I woke up, didn't know where I was. All I could feel was immense pain everywhere, but that didn't compare to the pain I felt in my chest. The big, gaping hole...It left me cold...I felt unwanted. It took me a second or two to realize I was underwater, and as soon as I did, the water pushed me out, as if rejecting me. I hopped out and landed on the pavement. Noone around...Thank God.

Then I remembered that Lionel was taken away by Blackwatch. It explained the hole in me...I felt...Emotionless. I didn't care, I couldn't care. Didn't have it in me. I knew I had to get him back but...Where? And how? I rubbed my eyes, feeling the hot tears form in them.

"LIONEL!" Anger washed over me. I hated myself; why couldn't I protect him? He was just a kid...And I couldn't protect him. I could still see his face, the image of it burned into my mind. His tiny hand reaching out for me...I just hung there, helpless. The only time I felt that same feeling was with Dana, when she was taken away by that Leader Hunter. But I was lucky that time, I consumed another Leader Hunter in order to pinpoint her location...Via Infected signature. This time was different. Lionel had to be somewhere...Some sort of...I dunno, secret base or something. Only the big boys would know about: Super Soldiers and Blackwatch Commanders. None of the others would know. If Lionel was that important to them, then they would only get the best of the best to guard him.

Too bad those best of the best were probably staying their butts right at the secret base...Crap. I gritted my teeth, my brain racking to find something, anything, anything that all that would help me. The only place I could think of was the place that Lionel and I were at...When I was about to pants that Super Soldier...Man, I would kill to do that. I walked along, the color of my vision a tinge of red. I could see it...The hate swirling in me...I slipped a hand inside of my shirt, felt the various cuts and bruises left by the Blackwatch soldiers. They musta had fun.

It won't be fun when I kill them all.

But...Is all of this some sort of test? Does God really hate me that much that he has to stoop this low? This low...To take the only thing that mattered in my life; took my heart, my joy, my sadness. All of that was gone now, replaced by hate and an urge to beat the living shit out of everything I see. My tongue touched the inside of my cheek. Swollen, and it was still bleeding. I must have woken up some time after they dumped me. The old taste of blood greeted me, the coppery aroma of it woke my taste buds. I bit my tongue, forcing it to back away. No...I can't go back, back to the degenerate state I used to live. Killing, consuming, almost like an aphrodisiac. The looks on those...Pathetic human faces watching, their dumb mouths wide open as I killed people, right in front of them. I can almost hear the sound of their skulls breaking as I ram my fist through it...

"NO! STOP!" I couldn't take it anymore, I collapsed on my knees, shaking and shivering. "Stop...There has to be another way!" I felt like a child, alone and cold and afraid in this foreign body I stole. The body of a madman. I am what he created me to be: A killing machine.

But Lionel...He proved me otherwise. He made me become something more human than beast...He gave me emotions, he gave me happiness. And for a moment, I felt like the kid was mine. Mine to hold, to kiss the scrapes on his knees when he fell...To wipe away the tears, just as he did mine. He made me feel like I wasn't some animal in a cage, or some ruthless killing machine...I felt special because of him, and in return, I gave him...What did I give him? Did I need to give him anything? Did he really need anything?

Of course he did! Irritated, I grabbed a fistful of my hair. Stupid...I was about to kill him the first time I came across him. Let him be feed for the Hunters. I was a taker, not a giver. How could I be so...Selfish? The voices in my head were silent when I was with Lionel...But now they quietly came back, talking to me...Were they helping me? I could her Greene's voice; her soft, snake-like voice, gracing the sides of my head.

_Is there something wrong...? I could help you... _

"You can't help me...Your brain is completely fried. What could you possibly do...?"

_His awakening will arrive...It will give new way to a Paradise unborn..._

"Shut up. You have no idea what your talking about."

_You do...You know he can't last long forever...He'll break...Like me..._

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" I got up and walked briskly, brushing the tears away. I knew she was right, and she knew it too. He's just a kid, what would Blackwatch do to him...?

_...He's a child...He won't last long...Cold...Alone...Afraid...Angry._

"Greene, shut up. You don't know what you're saying." I was in denial. She did know what she was saying. Over time...He would break, and being a child, he'd break faster. Lionel expected me to save him, like I was some sort of superhero in a comic book...He'll wait...And wait...And wait, still hoping. And then, realizing that I won't come to save him...Oh God no...

_Do you feel it...? The fear; the cold, dark pit in your stomach...__? I felt that too, before..._ I could almost feel her scraping the side of my head, dragging her infected finger all over it, filling my thoughts with negativity...The image of seeing Lionel, huddled in a corner, crying, wondering when I would come..._ I know it Alex...You and I are alike..._

"NO!" I couldn't do anything! Her crazy talk started to drive me insane. She could prod and poke all she wanted, but she could never steer me away from Lionel. Never. "Listen to me, you crazy bitch. You'll never get me. Never. I won't let you do this to me. You already terrorized Dana...I won't let you distract me from Lionel." For a minute, she said nothing...Just silence. Then she hummed...A little tune...I could feel the gentle touch of her hand sweeping the inside of my skull. It was...soothing. The lullaby she was humming..It sounded vaguely familiar. Lionel had sung a lullaby to me before, when he and I rested on the couch sometimes. I wonder if it was the same one.

I walked on, trying to find the place where Lionel was taken away. Greene stopped humming. _...You missed it...Just a block back..._ Then she continued to hum, that little stroking feeling coming back. Looks like she was on my side...For now. I walked back, my ears open for her response.

_Stop. Right here._ I frowned and shook my head. Noone was here; the streets were empty. _...Think of it again...When they took your precious boy away..._ I stopped for a minute. "No, I can't."

_Do it...You want to save him, yes?_

"How is thinking about it going to help?"

_You don't even know yourself as well as I do...Shame._

"What do you mean?"

_I sense it...The recalling...I can see it...Project it in your vision._

I felt a curtain of calmness crash over me, and instantly I was in some sort of...State of delusion, I guess you could call it. I could see it...Lionel...Screaming...The Blackwatch Commander carrying him off...Then...I didn't remember this...The Super Soldiers throwing me aside, kicking me...My face, assaulted by their brute punches...Dull pain...I immediately felt Lionel's terror take over me. They turned a corner...A tank was there...Lionel bit the commander's hand. That's my boy...

_Just think hard enough...And you'll be able to see it...The soldiers that attacked you...They know...I know...I can point them out to you...Just wait until dawn...This is all I can give you for now...I don't know what happened next...You were unconscious by the time it happened.  
_

As quickly as the vision came, it went away. Lionel's terrified face was gone, but the feeling in me wasn't. "How did you get all this? You're inside my head, inside of me." Silence. Then, a reply. _I hung on for a bit...Even though I'm connected to you, I can do things on the outside...If only for a second.__...It's not fun when you're depressed...It tends to grow monotonous. Either way, even if I do help you, I know that he won't be the same...You know this as well...You're just in denial.  
_

"Fuck you," I shut her out, but she tried to claw herself back in. _You keep doing this and I won't help you!_ I stood there for a moment, then walked into the nearest alleyway, sat down and pulled the hood over my head. Greene grinned...The bitch.

_Until dawn, then...?_

"Until dawn."


	6. Lyubovʹ

**A/N: Summer vacation started...6/16. I still haven't got my report card yet...TT3TT I'm so mad...Anywho...Lionel's P.O.V, I suck at children characters, tried to make him as childish and innocent as possible. Fail. Epic fail. My OC, Nicholai is in here...He's Russian. Derp. Used an English/Russian dictionary to find out small words...If anyone who is Russian/Knows the Russian language...I'm sorry I butchered it. Coming back to Alex Mercer in the next chapter...All you need is love, Mercer.**

When they brought me here, they were nice to me...But they asked me a lot of questions. I didn't want to answer them...Because they wanted me to talk about my mom and dad...And Alex. The person that asked me the questions wasn't like the people that took me away. He wore a suit and a tie. He wasn't like them...

"Where am I?" I wanted to know...They put me in a big room with a table, but I didn't know what the table was for until later. The man in the suit laughed.

"..You're at an undisclosed location...I'm sorry, but I can't tell you where you are."

"Where's Alex? I wanna see him."

"Alex...He's in a place where he won't hurt you."

"He didn't hurt me!" What he said made me angry; Alex took care of me after my mom and dad were killed by the monsters. At first, I thought he was gonna kill me too, but he didn't. I didn't want him to leave me, because I was afraid the monster would come after me too. I wouldn't let him insult Alex like that...He saw my face and frowned. The man then wrote something on the clipboard he was carrying.

"Of course he didn't...What's your name?"

"Daddy never told me to talk to strangers."

"Oh, but we're not strangers! We're here to help you..."

"If you're helping me, then why did you hurt Alex?" He set the pen down and looked at me. It made me nervous, because he was serious.

"Alex is a bad person, a very bad person. He's killed a lot of people-"

"He didn't kill any when I was around!"

"That doesn't matter...Those monsters that are out there? They are out there because of him. There's an infection that's making everybody into monsters...And he's to blame for it. Let's put it this way: Has he ever did some sort of...Transformation in front of you?"

I remembered when his arm was a giant blade the first time I saw him. "...Yeah..." The man in the suit smiled.

"He's sick, too. He's a monster, just like all of them."

"I know...But he's not just an monster, he's a nice monster. He doesn't eat people or kill them...He spends time with me. We go to the park, and eat, and sometimes play Checkers with Dana." He looked at me and stood up. All he did was just walk away...He was a jerk.

* * *

I didn't know what time it was when some people in white coats put me on the table. One thing I overlooked about the table was that it had straps on it, and they tied my arms and legs with them.

"He's a wild one!"

"Hold him down! Hold him down!"

"We need to knock him out or something!"

_"LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"_

They tied me down after a while. I got tired, and I knew I wasn't going to win, anyways. They pricked me in the wrist with a needle...I hate getting shots now.

* * *

_"Time: 11:46 PM. Date: 10/08/09. The boy...Lionel...Is stable. Blood tests confirmed that he is infected with the Redlight Virus, though he possesses no sign of infection. Sanity is stable, but prolonged confinement has made him...Anti-social. Parents were indeed inhabitants of Hope, Idaho. Mother left before the infection. The father lived through the infection; immunity is hereditary. Lionel appears to be around the age range of 8-10 years...As for interaction. 6 scientists have been bitten or attacked. One Blackwatch commander is dead: Infection. The boy appears to have the capability to infect anything he touches; similar to Elizabeth Greene. Soon we will have to put him in complete isolation, but not yet. We still have time to prepare further testing, though it will be much more difficult..."_

* * *

I heard someone come in, and at first I thought it was Alex, but it was just another one of them. He was big, though, and wore all this stuff on him. He had a different helmet on, though. The helmet wasn't like the one the other people had, but then I remembered one of them when me and Alex were outside. He called them Super Soldiers.

"Stay away from me..." I always backed into the corner when they put me back into the room, after they did "testing" on me. It seemed to be the best place to hide. The Super Soldier raised his hands up and shook his head.

"Do not worry, little one. I am here on my own accord. I chose to come in here, honest."

I still didn't believe him, so I crawled over and put my finger to the table. Weird, red stuff, like vines, came out of my finger and covered a part of it. He stepped back. I relaxed and went back to the corner. "...I don't know what it is...But...I can do it. I did it to someone else, and I can do it to you, too."

He didn't move at all. "It doesn't scare me. It intimidates me, yes, but it does not scare me, _rebenok._"

"Rebenok...? What does that mean?"

"Russian word for child. I am Russian...Name's Nicholai." He walked towards me but stopped, and sat down in front of me. "I said I wouldn't hurt you, and I tend to keep my promise."

I still didn't trust him, but there was nothing I could do."...Do you always put Russian words in your sentences?"

"No, but I like to in front of children, makes them curious."

"So, wait...Were you born in Russia or America?"

He seemed really happy to answer that. "Russia. I moved here to America when I was...ehmm...22? At first I couldn't speak a lick of English. I taught myself English by learning from the people around me. How they talked, what they were talking about, comparing American words to Russian words...The grammar and the language in America is choppy, but it's nice to know that I can speak another language."

I frowned. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, why not?"

"...What do you think of Alex?" He frowned and shook his head slowly.

"I'm mixed. Alex Mercer seems to be like a monster at times, though my team has never been ordered to search for Mercer. We mostly have to stay guard on the quarantine lines...But then sometimes I wonder if what the people say is true. Is he a monster? Or are they just...exaggerating?"

I never really thought about that...People here were saying that Alex was a monster, and should be killed. I didn't. Alex was nice to me, and some people thought he was helping the monste-I mean, the infection go away, and that's what made them feel safe. No matter what, Alex was coming to save me, I knew that much.

"...I don't know where he is, Nicholai. I'm kind of scared that he might not come to save me, but he will, right?"

Nicholai smiled, and then poked me in the head with his finger. "He will. You speak of him like a parent. If your bond with him is truly strong, then...Maybe you will contact him not through voice, but through mind."

"What do you mean?"

He withdrew his finger and said, "Emotions play a big part in communication, _rebenok._ Whatever mood you are in, people can feel it. My mother always used to tell me that _lyubovʹ_ -er, that's love in Russian- is the most important part to communicate. You express love in many ways, and some, my little friend, you have not come to know about yet. If you train the mind hard enough, you can send your emotions to anyone, and they, in return, will feel it as well."

"Can I try it with Alex?"

"I don't know. It's up to you to find that out."

I got a little sad about this, but then Nicholai patted my back and said, "Do not worry, _rebenok_...Just keep going strong...Do not let them get to you, they will try to do anything to break you. Be like my mother used to tell me."

"And what's that?"

"_Stena kirpich!_ A brick wall!"

"I do feel a bit better...Thank you." He ruffled my hair and stood up. I didn't want him to leave, but he said he had to. "Places to go, and an infection to kill. Maybe I'll see you another day, _rebenok_."

Nicholai left, but he said that emotions play a big part in communication... "I guess it's time for my brain to get some exercise..." I stayed in the corner, but not because I was afraid. It was because I needed to concentrate. I needed to talk to Alex.

* * *

**OH MY GOD, NICHOLAI STOP SAYING REBENOK!** /fail


	7. Foreshadow

It's been a week since I've seen Lionel...Greene didn't stop pestering me about how he was changing. After a while, I started to think she was right. Maybe she was right about everything...Maybe Lionel would become a monster, because it was my fault...I couldn't save him in time...I wasn't a role model to him like I was supposed to be...A part of me died on that realization. If I wasn't good enough to take care of him...And this was the result...Then what was all of that hard work I did? Was it worth nothing?

No...There had to be something out of it..._Something._

Apparently Greene heard me. _You will get something out of it Mercer...Trust me._

We were in Central Park, resting a bit before we headed back out. I sat on a park bench, disbelieving what she said. "You don't get it, do you? You've never lost something you loved so much." ...That's when I ticked her off. My mind went into a frenzy, and all I could hear was her echoed growls and hisses, her ghostly claws digging at the base of my spine, leaving a tingling sensation. Instantly I remembered: She lost her kid in 1969...General Randall took it from her.

_You may have had Lionel, but you don't know what it's like to lose a REAL CHILD! Lionel wasn't related to you, like my son...Though...I have no maternal feelings for him anymore..._ She calmed down and started to hum again, stroking the inside of my skull, drifting around in it like it was some sort of playground...Frustration seeped through, though I don't know why...It seemed like she had so much freedom in my head...More freedom than me. _..I only saw him for that split second...Until he took my baby away...But I have you now. I am your mother._

"You're not my _real_ mother. I know I'm just a more...Powerful version of you, but I'm _nothing_ like you."

_On the contrary...You are like me. The same drive, the same instinct-_

"Replaced by a drive and an instinct that revolves around Lionel." She was quiet for a moment, obviously hurt by that comment. "I have changed, and will stay that way. Lionel is everything to me, as well as Dana...I don't know what I would do if anything happened to them."

_Something happened to Lionel._

"And that's why I'm trying to get him back!" I sighed, trying to shake away the negative thoughts...Something happened to Lionel...Anguish filled my head so much, it was numbing...Strangely numbing. At first I thought it was me, but the anguish came so fast, it wasn't from me...Greene wasn't one to transfer emotions, mostly to stimulate them. Why was I feeling so...Sad?

_...You can feel that too, can't you? The sadness inside..._

"Y-Yeah...But it's not coming from me..."

_I know who it's from...It's from Lionel..._

"Lionel...? No, no, no...How can...?"

_You...obviously have no clue about...Telepathy, yes? Communication through thoughts, or, for this case, emotions...Lionel has somehow broken the barrier and allowed his emotions to flow through you...You can feel them._

"Can I send my emotions back? I mean, well..."

_I don't know...But he can help you track down his whereabouts. He may be able to read your thoughts...But...That's more of a push._

I couldn't believe it...Lionel is talking to me...I could feel the sadness melt into hope. I guess he felt my slight happiness...

_I can see...Something. Images. He's...Projecting them?_

"He's one amazing kid, ain't he-arrgh!" Instantly, I felt my head burn. Seering, images being engraved into my mind, almost like a consumption, then you see the memories, the important ones washing over you. I could see the things Lionel see...Hear what he heard...Blurred, mostly...Lionel just started to get into the hang of this, but I could hear every word spoken...

* * *

_"Already into Day 2 of isolation. Subject has remained anti-social for the most part, though once in a while he'll go into a rage, pound into the glass..."_

I felt like I was in mid-air, seeing the events up above. I felt sick to my stomach as I saw Lionel. He was in an isolation chamber, like Greene's...Everything covered in vines...Deep, red vines. Barely visible inside, but I could see Lionel, on the table, knees pulled up to his chest, head tucked into his arms...Just like Greene. Bodies were pushed into the corner. Infected, dead bodies. I felt the fear creep in like a spider; Lionel was changing into a monster...I could see cuts and bruises on his bare legs. They hurt him...They hurt Lionel.

A man was there, beside the isolation chamber. He held a recorder in his palm, and murmured something into it...I could hear what he was saying.

_"Every soldier that has entered the isolation chamber has been killed. One Super Soldier, three Blackwatch commanders, and 5 soldiers. Total: 9. Testing is no longer possible, and isolation of subject is imminent. Termination is likely, though we still look for a cure in the child. How we're going to do that...Is a mystery to me. Alex Mercer is still alive, and cannot infect anything he comes into contact with. Two Super Soldiers are assigned to capture him, both in the Chelsea district, in the area where we captured the boy; Mercer will, most likely, be there. There, they will subdue Mercer if in contact with him, and take him in a separate unit far from Lionel. That way, if Mercer escapes, he will not go for the boy. Not yet, at least. During capture, we will proceed to conduct experiments and possible creation of the cure."  
_

They were using Lionel as a guinea pig...Keeping him caged like some sort of animal...And because of this he's grown bitter and sad...If I had only been there sooner.

_"Once we capture Mercer and find the cure for Blacklight, we will proceed to exterminate the both of them. Blacklight with the cure, once we mass produce it, and for Lionel...Since he is infected with Redlight, we shall use Bloodtox."_

They were going to kill him...

I had to get those Super Soldiers, and fast.

* * *

I came back, my head pounding furiously. I couldn't hear what Greene was asking, and all the while Lionel tried to comfort me, trying to reassure me. I couldn't be comforted, the fact that he was just like Greene and I, it was bitter irony How I wanted to change him, and yet I couldn't. What kind of parent was I?

_You're more of a parent than I am... _Greene said once my head cleared up._  
_

"You're not helping, Greene..."

_I mean it...Look what they changed my son into. They changed him into PARIAH._

"You didn't know that until I consumed you."

_But now I know. I saw the way you comforted the boy. Held him, played with him, took care of him...You made me jealous Alex...That much I will admit. I wanted to take part in it, we could have been one big family-_

"_NO!_ I wouldn't let you touch him even if you had your body. Not with your filthy hands."

She laughed, and it dug into my nerves._ And you think your hands are clean? You're no saint, Mercer. I'll give you the fact that you're a changed man, but you can't shake off what you've done, the mark you made on this island...What you've left it in._

"IT. WASN'T. ME."

_It was the old Mercer...But you released me in return...I hope you didn't forget that._

She had a point. Alex Mercer released me, the Blacklight Virus, into Manhattan before he died. Freeing Greene, however, was entirely my fault. I didn't know anything, and she was the only source I had. I didn't know she was a monster, until she power slapped me across the room. And then she showed me things, her, how they captured her...It was horrible, and that's what they did to Lionel...

Greene reassured me, humming softly... _It's okay, Alex...I'll forgive you..._ I felt relaxed, but my mind was still on those Super Soldiers. Now I knew where they were, and they were going to tell me everything...I'm going to rip them limb from limb, and make them tell me where Lionel is...


	8. Recreation

I ran to Chelsea as fast as I could, my mind in a haze of every negative emotion possible, merely feeding the fire of hate. Those monsters...They turned Lionel into one...I couldn't accept that. No, there's a solution...There's always a solution to everything. Greene stayed silent. It was unnerving, but it was also a solace from her negative remarks...Saying that Lionel was turning into...Into her. Into me. And the very fact that it was true...It broke my heart in two.

I had a heart...Huh. Or, at least I think I did. I love Lionel. I love Dana...But it wasn't enough. I knew for a fact that I wasn't Dana's real brother...Living everyday knowing that I'm just an image, a fake copy of Alex Mercer. She didn't know...And I don't have the heart to tell her...Lionel, however...He was a different story. He accepted me for who I was, and, as long as I was killing people who deserved it, he was fine with it. But nobody deserves death, not even the most evil of people.

_Apparently...I deserved it._ Greene said.

"But that was before. When I was a monster. Just like you." I hopped over a playground. No kids. The sky was blood red, and the buildings were a sickly red, the material that they were made from them worn down and crumbling. Red vines slithered out of the cracks and holes as I passed them. My heart dropped as I realized that the Chelsea district was now an infected zone. What if the Super Soldiers were already dead?

My question was answered as I clambered on top of a building, only to see a battlefield. Hordes of Infected parred with an army of Blackwatch Super Soldiers. They easily took them down, but the sheer numbers of Infected overwhelmed one or two of them. I had to kill them. All of them. Before the Infected got to them. But I didn't have to do that. No, not at all...Because one of the Super Soldiers grabbed the back of my jacket, and pulled me up to face him.

"...All ground units," He said. He was pressing a button on his helmet, most likely a button for the radio. "Target on ZEUS. The Infected n-" Before he could finish, I grabbed a handful of his neck and ripped it out, the blood covering both me and him. The tendrils slithered from me, snaking around the Super Soldier, who was still alive...All the better for him to suffer. The memories were useless...Nothing that would lead me to Lionel.

"There he is!" Another one, this time with more Super Soldiers. "Get the turd!"

That's when the carnage started. I used the blade to slice them all. The small army of Super Soldiers charged at me, but I didn't care. Two of them lunged at me, but I barrel-rolled out of their path. Another Super Soldier grabbed me and slung me over his shoulder...Big mistake. I used the smaller end of the blade to skew his back. I jumped out of his grip, and stabbed his face. One. Two. Three. Four...Consumption. Little tidbits of memory, here and there...He caught a glimpse of Lionel...Huddled in a corner, shivering. Bruises on his arms and legs...And what seemed to be the starting of a cocoon...

_He's protecting himself... _Greene said.

"That still doesn't change the fact that they made him this way."

Another Super Soldier grabbed me from behind, and then another grabbed my legs. They were both impaled in an instant using the tendrils, and they were quickly consumed...One after another I saw what they did to Lionel...

* * *

The memory showed me the isolation chamber...But this time I was inside of it. Lionel was on the table, sitting up. His left arm was out, and there were tubes sticking out of his forearm...They were collecting blood from him. A scientist was writing something on the clipboard, but I couldn't see what he was writing. A Super Soldier was there, supervising the procedure, apparently. Lionel looked pale, and he was shifting uncomfortably.

_"Is it over?"_

_"No, not yet."_

Lionel frowned. _"Can you tell me where I am?"_

The scientist shook his head. _"Classified."_

* * *

Another memory followed, but this time it was a Super Soldier. The man was shaking all over, afraid of going near Lionel...Lionel...He was sitting up on the table, his legs crossed and his arms sweeping over it, leaving the distinctive red vines slithering and covering the table. This was way after Lionel realized he was infected...And started to kill.

_"Can you please tell me where I am?"_ Lionel had a dull, dangerous tone. He cocked his head to the side and smiled, but it wasn't a normal smile... 

The Super Soldier stepped back and shook his head. _"We-we already told you! Mercer's dead-"_

_"STOP TELLING ME THAT! I KNOW HE'S STILL ALIVE!"_ Lionel growled and glared at the soldier with hate. _"I know it."_

The Super Soldier shifted uncomfortably from side to side, and then looked behind him before replying to him. _"I...I...Please don't tell anyone I said this...But...We're underground, I'll tell you that."_ Lionel smiled and leaned in a bit more, but the Super Soldier backed away, and his back pressed against the wall.

_"Anything else?"_

_"P-Please! I only came here to do a physical on you, nothing more!"_

Lionel pointed to the cuts and bruises on his legs, and then lifted his shirt to reveal more. _"Tell that to the other guys that came here." _He pointed to the small pile of bodies that were pushed to one corner of the chamber. I stared at them; they were mangled and bloodied, and I could see the distinct gash marks that were on their bodies, and the vines that were covering them by the minute...I stared in disbelief. Sweet, innocent Lionel...And looked what he did to them.

_"Please..." _Lionel frowned, looking at the soldier with sadness. Half of me knew that Lionel was trying to con his way into getting the information...And then half of me wanted to believe that he was sad in a genuine manner. I was proud for him, and yet I was ashamed. This boy...The first day I saw him, he was so...Pure. And now look what they did to him._  
_

The Super Soldier paused and looked at Lionel, who sat there, rocking and back and forth slowly where he sat.

_"...I...I c-Fine, fine...You're...You're underground, beneath a military base on Canal St...Now, please...Can...I?" _

Lionel nodded.

_

* * *

_Coming back, I felt so...Angry. How come I couldn't save Lionel in time? In a week he had the Super Soldiers in the palm of his hands. They feared him...But even then, Lionel couldn't stop them from poking and prodding at him. It made me feel sick to my stomach, and even worse...Lionel's emotions were filling in my head as tried to avoid the hits from the Super Soldiers. Rage...Pain...Sadness...Was he the same Lionel I met that day, saving him from the very clutches of death?

_He is...But he's something much more..._

I rolled out of the large group of Super Soldiers, calmed for finding Lionel, but also angered at what they had made him. A killing machine, isolated and kept away from the world. Just like Greene, just like PARIAH...

"Where did he go?"

"There he is!"

Rage overcame me, as well as the cold hard smack of reality. Whatever Greene said to me was washed out by a loud buzzing. The only thing I felt was Lionel's anger, but his was nothing compared to mine.

"All of you..." My right arm grew hot, and it was a while before I noticed it turned into the blade. "You...You did this to him. You made him a MONSTER!" They began to back away, but I couldn't let that happen. A flail of spikes shot out of the ground...I blinked and looked at my arm, which was shoved inside of the concrete. I didn't even know...But then again, I was too angry to notice. Three Super Soldiers were impaled, their screams were flooded out by the roars of oncoming Hunters...And the rest of the Infected. The rest of them knew better, because they started to run away like cowards.

"_GET BACK HERE!_" One, two, then a dozen tendrils flew out from me, grabbing each and every one of the Super Soldiers, lifting them into the air. They wriggled like the spineless worms they were, begging to be put down...But it was too late for mercy. One by one, they were ripped apart; slowly, painfully, their screams turned into shrills and screeches, the pain of it overwhelming their bodies. Blood dripped down as the entrails plopped onto the concrete, the wet splashes made me tingle all over. It all felt...So good...Like doing an activity you haven't done in a long time. I watched them, their big bodies convulsed and shuddered as they died. A warm feeling came over me, not from the blood that stained me, but from the image of it all...The blood, the screaming, the begging, the pain...A calm washed over, and I sighed, the tendrils slipping back inside of me, dragging a few Super Soldiers with them.

Memories flooded my head, but nothing new. Lionel being tortured with blood tests, experiments...They didn't give a damn about him, they only wanted a cure. A _cure_. The word disgusted me, made me want to puke. Shoulders rolling, neck craning, I felt so good. I haven't felt this good since...Since I rescued Lionel.

_I tried to warn you...The bloodlust is coming back, isn't it?_ Greene's voice swam in my head. I frowned and started to dart for the Bronx district.

"...Yeah..."

_You're changing...Just like him. _

"...I know." I suddenly felt so...Ashamed of myself. How could I let myself go like that? It wasn't right, it wasn't human...It was demonic, unnatural, inhumane. Something Alex Mercer would do. I shivered, but I kept going, leaping from buildings, gliding through the air...And then I started to cry, but why? I couldn't cry for myself...Lionel was a mirrored image of myself and Greene: Unstable, filled with hate and anger. Bringing people down with the touch of a finger, or with a flick of the wrist. Greene was right, we were becoming a family...One big, ugly, infected family. I had to stop this, I couldn't let this happen. Not to Lionel, not anyone.

I quickly wiped the crocodile tears away, stopping for a moment to collect myself. I didn't know what to expect when I saw Lionel...Would he still hug me like he used to do, or would he try and kill me? I rubbed my temples, feeling nothing from Lionel...

There was only one way to find out.


	9. Mercy Kill

_Are you sure you want to do this, Mercer?_ Greene said, worry etched her voice. _You might not even make it past them if you trudge on like this._

"I will, just you don't worry about it. You're not the one risking your life." I was in the base, actually, in disguise as a commander. I whispered quietly, since I didn't want to cause such a fuss among the others. Thankfully, there were no Super Soldiers in the base. They were lurking underground.

_Still...You're risking your life for one single boy-_

"The boy who's more important than I am!" She didn't say anything after that, and I started to look for the entrance. Thermal imaging...It would point me to the way. I blinked, and then all I saw were the soldiers' heat signatures. I started to walk, trying to blend in with the others, but it was so hard with Lionel on my mind. He was blank and cold...I could feel nothing from him, and t started to worry me...What if he already turned? I had to push the image that was forming out of my head, because I wouldn't last a minute thinking like that...But I couldn't help it. They used a boy...A _child_ to find some cure that might not even exist...At least not yet. But I had to expect this from them...Randall wanted to nuke Manhattan Island...And even though he was dead, I had expect Blackwatch to do something similarly evil.

"Commander Johnson!" I whipped my head around to see a Marine walking my way, and I collected myself; before he could even notice that I wasn't even his commander. "You're needed in the underground base!" It was only a moment before I saw some, if not most, of the Marines heading toward an elevator in a far off corner of the base. "The boy, he's trying to escape! He's killing everyone!" My heart sank...So that's why he blanked out...Lionel blocked me out of his emotions, so I wouldn't know that he was trying to escape. He probably knew I was already in the base, which is why he did so.

The Marine nudged me and pointed to the elevator. I followed, my mind in a frenzy of questions, but only Green knew the answer.

_While they're still here...Kill them..._

"But they'll lock every entrance down...How will I get in if they do?"

_You're the one with the superpowers...You can destroy anything, can't you?_

She was right, completely right, but I still felt uneasy about this; I didn't know what to expect. I decided to go with Greene, and I grabbed the marine in front of me and threw him towards the others. I managed to hit a few more marines before they finally collided into a crate. The rest of them turned around as I changed back, and I smirked at them all.

"It's ZEUS!"

"How did he get in here?"

"You idiot! He ate Commander Johnson!"

_"IDIOTS! KILL HIM!"_

But it was already too late. I quickly disposed of them, using the claws to hack my way through the small army of men. The fresh smell of blood filled my lungs, sending me back to past memories of when I raided bases and wasted everyone inside of them, just for fun. The feeling of claws ripping through the soft flesh...Screams of men...Gunshots followed by the slight sting of bullets piercing me...It was just like the old days.

"Get into a formation! Anything! He's tearing us-n-no! Arrrgh!"

I was on Autopilot, doing the things I came to know and love, all by heart...And I was damn good at it too...Then again, so was Greene and Lionel...And just about everyone else on this miserable little planet. The good lacked the heart to kill...It made them weak and vulnerable...And they needed someone to protect them. Then I remembered what Lionel said: It was okay to kill people, as long as they were bad. It dawned on me that these people...These people were bad, and they needed to be punished for what they did.

"Make sure he doesn't go near the elevator! We need to save the boy! Call for back-up!"

_"I don't think so..." _

"No! Please! Please! Nooo!"

And then that was it. After a while of hacking, smashing, crushing, killing...I stood there, looking back at what I did, and proud of it, too. Innards and limbs accompanied each other with the pools of blood that decorated the base. At first I felt so accomplished...But then I felt ashamed. It was in my blood to do this, I was made to kill...But I didn't feel happy about it. Lionel was supposed to look up to me, to take care of him...And now look what he is. A monster. My carelessness made Lionel what he is...

_You're in denial...It's not your fault, Mercer...Why do you make it so?_

"You're...Not helping."

_But you know I'm right...I'm in your head, don't you forget that._

"You think you know everything, don't you, Greene? Let me tell you something-"

_No, Mercer, **you** think you know everything...But I know what's truly roaming through your mind...The guilt, the rage, the sadness...The denial...It's all here. You blame yourself for things you didn't even do...To make up for what Alex Mercer did._

I frowned and turned to the elevator. She was right...I...I always blamed myself for every situation...Maybe because Alex Mercer needed to pay for what he did...And I was doing it for him; his little slave to society. I stepped in and pressed the only button that was on there and waited. As the doors closed, I heard Greene humming again.

_Are you okay...?_

"Peachy."

_I'm sorry..._

"Don't be, let's just rescue Lionel."

* * *

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. I couldn't believe what I saw...Bodies littered the narrow hallway that eventually led to the isolation chamber, where Lionel was. Super Soldiers were pushed to the left side of the hallway, their blood (mixed with others) pooled the hallway, making it a slippery, shiny red color. Every man had gashes on their bodies, either on their chest, legs, head...It didn't matter, they were dead anyways. Actually, I thought it was a nice change; rather than to the sterile white that labs always had, Lionel made it a handsome color of red...What was I thinking? Lionel killed everyone, and look at what he did...But did that really matter now? Everyone was dead...Doors were on each side of the hallways, but there were only four on each. Not one was spotless...They were all smeared with blood. Hand prints in crimson stained every door...They were all trying to get out, to hide, to escape. It didn't even strike me that there was no sign of Lionel...He must have went back into the isolation chamber. Or hid. Whichever came first.

I began to walk, pausing to catch my fall when the occasionally slippery blood got the best of me. Each door I checked, to see if anyone was still alive, or, at least, on the brink of death. Every room led to splattered walls and bodies...Blood also was smeared on the inside of the door. Guts hung from the ceiling, using the lamps that were hanging from there. Tables were strewn with matter from God knows where...It was an impressive feat, even for a kid his age and size. I shook my head, and after that, opened the other doors...All were the same image. Littered bodies, mauled and eviscerated...Entrails hung from ceilings, skulls displayed like trophies...It hit me that Lionel must have really hated them...But...Other than the fact that he was kept like a lab rat...Why was he so angry?

I hesitated before walking into the isolation chamber. Would Lionel attack me? Would he just...Sit there? Out there and in his own little world...Like Greene?

_I can hear you, you know._

"Erm, sorry..."

I stepped into the chamber, a tunnel made of glass that led to the whole room. I felt my heart instantly sink into a state of sadness as I saw Lionel, sitting on the table. Blackwatch Commanders and Marines circled the table, their blood slowly sneaking into the glass tunnel. It was dark, except for a dim light that poured over Lionel, and a blinking light in the tunnel. The walls inside were covered in blood, followed by the red, snaking and slithering tendrils of Redlight...It angered me that Greene contributed to this, but it was mainly my fault...My fault for releasing her.

"Lionel...?" I took a step towards him...He had his knees pulled up to his chest, and his head tucked into his arms. He was shivering, as if he was cold...I guess being covered in blood would make you cold, too. I took another step forward, my shoes (and not to mention most of my clothes) were covered in blood. "...Lionel...?"

He looked up, his hands shifting from the knees to the stained table. His eyes were blank...Cold...Unforgiving...He looked at me with uncertainty, but grinned. "Alex..." I didn't know if it was the same Lionel that I met before...Or if Lionel was already a monster, too late to change him. I walked up to him and hugged him, his frail little body responded with nothing...He was limp in my arms. "I was starting to think you would never come back for me..."

I couldn't say anything...There was just this...This lump in my throat. His clothes were covered in blood...His hoodie, jeans, sneakers, all with bits of flesh and bone stuck to them. Some of his clothes were tattered...I guess from trying to escape. Unresponsive...Emotionless...This wasn't the same Lionel that I rescued from the alley just a couple of weeks ago...This was someone else. "Lionel..." I said after pulling myself together. "...Why aren't you hugging me? Is something wrong?" Lionel shook his head and buried it into my jacket. "I don't know..." He finally hugged me, wrapping his arms and legs around me, but I felt something... A slithering, slimy sensation on my shoulder. I looked on my shoulder, and saw that there were the familiar red, snaking ropes that wrapped themselves around me. I felt pained, not for me, but for Lionel...He probably didn't even know that he was doing it...All on touch, it was automatic.

"O-Oh..." Lionel muttered. He looked at me, and then at my shoulder. "I'm sorry...I always do that now...I don't know how to stop it." I patted his head and tousled his hair, faking a smile. "Don't worry...I...I have the same thing, too." Lionel looked at me blankly before flashing his teeth at me, his dark and circled eyes lighting up. "Really...? Can I see?" I sat down on the table, cross-legged with him in my lap.

"Gimme your hand." I told him, and he did what I said. I put a finger on the palm, and a black and red tendril came out and wrapped around it. I felt a little better when Lionel giggled.

"That's really cool."

"I know, right?"

He frowned and said, "Alex...How come you didn't do this stuff around me?"

"I..." He looked at me with those big eyes. He was slowly coming back to me...But he was still a monster, the monster that I wanted to protect and hold... "I didn't want to show you this because...I didn't want you to become like me. I...Knew that you were already infected, but I didn't want you to find out. I was afraid that you might become like the other monsters that were lurking out there...Like the ones that...You know..."

"I know...The ones that killed my parents."

"Yeah..." He sighed and looked at me before saying, "I think it's too late for that, isn't it?" The emotions I felt the first few days I took care of him swam back into me. I wanted to choke the life out of him for saying that. I wanted to slap him, dismember him...And then I wanted to hug him. Lionel was right...It was too late for him to change...And it made me even angrier that he said it like it was nothing.

"Alex, I don't want to make you sad or anything...I wish I could go back, you know, before they caught me. But...I know now that it's always going to be like this...Won't it?"

"...Yeah, it will."

"I'm going to kill every single one of them, so I can protect you and Dana from them..."

"No...You can't do that, Lionel...They're people just like you and me."

"We're not people, Alex," Lionel curled into a ball in my lap. "We're monsters, remember?" I couldn't believe what I just heard...We're monsters...? It was true for me, but...but for Lionel...He wasn't a monster. He was protecting himself from Blackwatch...But the fact that he wanted to kill every single one of them...I could grasp the thought, but the picture of a child, slaughtering thousands of them...It left me in shock.

"You're not a monster Lionel," I whispered, slowing raking my fingers through his hair, trying to comfort him. He tensed up at first, but then relaxed. "...But I have to ask you a question."

"And what's that?"

"Those men...You mutilated them...Why?" He looked at me, then sighed.

"I felt your anger...I wanted to make them pay for what they did to you and me."

"...No...I can't let you do this Lionel...You have to stop."

"But...I don't want to stop. I want to protect you and Dana." He closed his eyes and shifted, turning his back to me. I heard Greene mumbling something, but I ignored it. Now wasn't the right time for listening. So...Lionel wanted to kill...I couldn't let him do it...It was all because of me he wanted to slaughter all of Blackwatch...It was my fault. I continued to pet him, thinking in the quiet and dimly lit room. All the while, I kept humming the same song Lionel used to sing. Dana always let him listen to her music. I remembered the lyrics...And I decided to sing them.

_"...Sinking...Feeling..."_

_"...Spin me round again, and rub my eyes..."_ I blinked and looked at Lionel, who shifted a bit before singing again. _"...All those yeaaaars...They were here first..."_

_"...The takeover...The sweeping insensitivity of this."_

"We're skipping a lot of the verses, aren't we?" He asked. I nodded.

"Your singing got to me...Not exactly a lullaby, but I always felt relaxed when you sang it to me."

Greene suddenly said something. _You know...You know what to do?"_

I couldn't say anything out loud. Lionel would think I was crazy, so I had to think my answer. _No...I don't._

_You have to kill him...It's the only way of saving him, and all of Blackwatch._

_...No, I can't...Besides...The whole force getting wasted doesn't sound like a bad idea._

_You know as well as I do that Blackwatch can help kill off the Infected._

She was right...But I couldn't kill Lionel...I didn't have the heart. _I...I can't...I don't want to-_

_But you know it's the right thing to do!_ She striked back, hissing. It seemed that everyone was right these days...Killing Lionel _was_ the right thing to do, because he wouldn't stop killing, even if I asked him to stop. He was so fixated on protecting Dana and me, he wanted to massacre the entire Blackwatch force to make sure we were safe. But without them, the Infected would be too much for New York to handle, and it would spread to the entire country, and then the world. Even for me, the Infected was a big problem to contain. I couldn't keep them on a leash...I needed someone else to help me.

I felt my stomach lurch...How was I supposed to kill him?

"Alex...Is something wrong? You're...Uneasy."

"I forgot you can feel my emotions..."

"Yeah...I just want to make you feel better."

I frowned and shook my head. "Lionel...You and Dana will always come first before me or anyone else, I promise you that...I want what's best for you. And...Right now, it's not good for you to be like this...I can't let you kill everyone just for me and Dana. Believe it or not, I need Blackwatch to take care of the rest of the monsters...If you killed them all, I couldn't be able to contain the Infected. Even if you didn't kill them...Everything you touch becomes infected...You might start to get antsy, try to go out if I try to shelter you...And then the whole city might become infected. I can't stand you like this...You're so unemotional, so cold." I held back my tongue, ashamed of what I said "...I'm sorry."

I could feel Lionel growing sad on the inside, but nevertheless he was blank. "No...It's okay...I understand." He turned his head around and smiled. "You...What are you going to do?"

_You know what Mercer..._ Greene muttered.

I ignored her and kept petting the boy, humming softly. _"Blood and tears...They were here first..."_

Lionel didn't say anything at first, but he sighed, singing in response. _"Mmm, what you say? Mmm, that you only meant well, well of course you did."_

_"Mmm, what you say? Mmm, that's it's all for the best? Because it is..."_ I sat there for a while, thinking of what to do...And then I suddenly thought of the idea of consuming him. It was so wrong, but I couldn't bear seeing his frail dead body. _"Mmm, what you say? Mmm, that it's just what we need?"_

_"You decided this."_

_"...Mmmm, what you say?"_ I stopped and made Lionel uncurl himself and sit up.

"Alex...?" He mumbled, leaning back until his back and head were resting on my chest. "It won't hurt, will it?"

I bit my lip and shook my head. He understood what I was going to do to him. "...No, it'll be quick." I felt so sick, but I had to do this...My right hand grabbed the left side of his face, and my left hand patted the back of his head before taking a hold of it as well."

"Lionel...?"

"Yeah Alex?" He asked, his feet casually swaying from the edge of the table for a bit.

"...I never got the chance to tell you...I love you, like a son...I know that I'm not your father, but I felt like one when I'm with you. It was fun...Very fun...Before I met you, I never felt happiness before -the genuine kind- I was a monster, a vicious one; killing people, and having fun with it. When I met you...I _hated_ you. You had all the emotions I wanted, and never had. I imagined all kinds of ways to kill you, but after a few days...You grew on me, and I began to feel what you felt. I never knew...That someone could feel another person's emotions. I mean, I'm not a superstitious guy or anything but...You know..."

Lionel giggled and tilted his head. "You were a lotta fun Alex...And Dana, too. I never had a friend who could fly and stuff...And transform into different people and stuff. I don't mind that you have to do this...I know what will happen if you don't kill me. I'm sorry that I caused all this trouble."

"No...No, it wasn't your fault...It was mine, I was careless, and I let you get caught by Blackwatch...If I didn't try to show off, we might not have been in this situation."

Lionel laughed. "I don't care, I thought it was still funny, how you tried to pants the Super Soldier."

"Yeah...That was fun..." I kissed the top of his head and chuckled. "...I'm going to miss you, Lionel."

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"...I'll always be with you."

I bit my lip. Lionel just sat there, his hands gripping my legs as I took a deep breath...Held it there for a moment...

_Snap!_

Clean, quick...Painless. Lionel went limp in my arms, his grip slacked. Silence. At first, I just held him, not yet ready to consume him. He was gone...My little Lionel was gone. The tendrils came out and took him, wrapping themselves around him and bringing his lifeless body into me. I sat there for a moment, but it seemed to be eternity in my eyes. I thought of all the stuff we did together, and realized that we wouldn't be able to do those anymore. I stood up and walked out of the chamber, stumbling a bit, the tears that were absent suddenly came. They plopped down, landing on the blood smeared floor. I walked to the elevator and stepped inside...The doors closed...And I curled into a ball, crying. I felt so empty without Lionel, it was like I was again, an empty shell of a monster. How was I supposed to survive now? Would I lose what little humanity I had...?

* * *

Walked out of the base. It was dark outside, maybe about 10 or 11 at night. I felt so sick to my stomach, disgusted at the fact that I consumed Lionel. I slipped into the nearest alleyway I could find. My stomach lurched. Once. Twice. I didn't want to vomit, but I had the urge to...I didn't want him inside of me...Slowly but surely I was experiencing what he felt in his days of containment. The anger...The sadness...The minuscule joy he had...The hatred he experience. It was all in me, and by the time the memories were done, I ended up heaving, but nothing came out, just retched gagging sounds and the pitiful sobs that came from me. I felt so...Alone. Sad, afraid...Lionel was gone, and I couldn't bring him back.

A tinge of happiness formed in the back of my head...I didn't know how, or even why...I didn't care...All I needed to do was go on with life...

I walked out the alley, wiping the tears away and gathering myself. I had to go home to Dana...And then I realized that she was going to ask questions...Where I was, where was Lionel...

...Lionel...

...I'll make something up...Something happy...Lionel would have wanted that.


	10. Shoulder Angel

_Epilogue~_

It was a week after I killed Lionel. Dana tried to comfort me after I weaved up a story of how I found Lionel's grandparents and took him there.

Her comfort didn't work...I was still an emotional wreck.

But after a week of isolation, I decided to get up and go somewhere. Hit the town, maybe go to Central Park...I needed to do something to get the memory out of my head.

* * *

I went to a place called Dellons. It was a nice, quiet little cafe on the corner of an unknown street. The inside was an area with a lounge-like feel to it. It was nice and small, but large enough to accompany at least 80 people. The cafe was brightly lit with small soft chairs and medium sized couches, red in colour. The chairs were set in small circles, around...Cherry oak tables...? The couches were big enough to fit four people, and were set across each other, a rectangular table in between them.

It seemed that they encouraged everyone to relax, as well, because shoes were placed next to the chairs/couches, and people were sitting Indian style, socks on, and even barefoot. I saw an empty table and decided to accompany it, taking off my shoes and sitting the same way everyone else did. It was...Unnerving. Greene didn't talk to me after the incident, never heard a peep out of her. That started to worry me...Where did she go?

"Allo there," I blinked and sat up, my eyes shifted to a woman, still in her early 20's, maybe late 20's...Long black hair, cream coloured sweater, and a pair of denim jeans. She seemed to be friendly. I didn't even know she was holding a cup of tea until I looked. She smiled softly and said, "Something wrong?"

I frowned. "You could say that..." She frowned along with me and patted my shoulder, placing the cup of tea in front of me and plopping herself on the couch across the table.

"Hey...Care to tell me? A little tea and good conversation never hurt anybody."

My eyes darted to the small cup and I picked it up. "It's herbal tea..."

"Yeah, good for the heart." She pounded her chest and grinned. "Name's Beth, and yours is...?"

I chuckled, her British accent tickled me, but the thought of Lionel came creeping back. "Name's Alex...I...I lost a good friend of mine..." I sipped the herbal tea, and made a face. It was bitter.

She grinned and started to laugh; looks like she was amused by the look on my face. "It's an acquired taste, but it's healthy for you. Makes you relax, y'know?"

I had to agree, the tea started to sink in, a warm feeling spreading into my body. "Yeah..."

Beth frowned and leaned in. "Hey, I'm sorry about your friend. You said you lost 'em?" She shook her head. "It'll be alright, man...We all lose someone special in our lives, but we can't help it...That's how life is. You can mourn 'em, but you can't be a bloody fool and cry and mope every single day 'bout him...You have to move on."

...Beth was right. I had to move on...I couldn't live like I did, locked in a room...And stay there for the rest of my life. As much as I wanted Lionel back, I had to move on, but I couldn't grasp the thought of pushing him to the side. A tinge of enjoyment spread through me, and in the back of my head as well...It was the same feeling when I was in the alleyway, moments after I killed Lionel. Greene must have been busting my chops, I couldn't think of another reason why I was feeling like this. I grinned and looked at Beth. "...Thanks, I needed that. I...I feel a bit better now."

Beth nodded and stood up. "Welcome. Glad to make you happy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to tend to the other customers." She walked away, doing as she told me, talking to other customers, making them comfortable. I sat back and drank the rest of the tea, that happy feeling still lingering.

"Greene?" I muttered. "What're you doing?"

After a week of silence, she finally said something. _...Mercer..._

"What? A week of nothing and all you say is 'Mercer'?"

_...Nevermind that...I...I found something._

"You found what?" My interest was perked, and I sat up.

_...You'll know when you hear it._

"Hear what? Greene," I hissed, looking around. Noone heard me, thank God. "If you don't tell me..." She didn't say anything after that, but I didn't care...I wasn't going to let her ruin my mood.

* * *

I spent two hours in Dellons, just sitting there, relaxing...And then...about 3:00, I left. I walked out (with my shoes on) and stretched, feeling good. I still couldn't help but wonder what Greene meant.

"You'll know when you hear it...That's bull."

An hour of walking to Central Park made me tired, so I sat on a bench when I got there. I raised my head, looking at the sky beyond the trees. It was turning pink, meaning the sun was about to set. Everything was quiet around me, the sounds of cars, people and the sound of the approaching night life was distant in my ears. _"Crop circles in the carpet..."_ I had myself singing the song again, but it didn't sadden me...It made me happy...I was comfortable.

_Trains and sewing machines... _

"_Oh you won't catch m_-woah...wait..." I sat up, frowning. Was that Greene? How did she...? "Greene, was that you?" I paused and listened for her response.

_Nope._ She said.

I frowned. "If you're messing with me, I swear..."

_Even if it was me, you can't touch me._

"Then if it wasn't you..."

_Blood and tears...They were here first... _

My whole body froze...I knew whose voice that was. "...Lionel?" No, no no no...How did he...?

_...I told you, Alex... _He said, as if reading my thoughts._ ...I'll always be with you._

"You were..." I couldn't grasp this...Lionel was in my head... "You were that little spot in the back of my head, weren't you?"

_...Yeah, I was._

_I found him, trying to press through. It looks like he was trying to reach you, but he couldn't..._ Green explained. _I had to make him do it._

It was all like some sort of...Surreal dream. I wanted to believe it, but it all seemed too crazy. Way too crazy. Greene was in my head, but that was because her mind refused to die...And so she stayed there...I guess it was the same for Lionel; he didn't want to die, he still wanted to stay with me...And so...His mind, his thoughts...his soul remained. It was bittersweet: I couldn't hug Lionel, pick him up and spin him around...I couldn't touch him. But I could talk to him, laugh with him...It was like having a guardian angel.

_You alright Alex?_ Lionel asked.

"Hmm?" I blinked and snapped out of my thoughts. "Yeah, yeah...I'm fine, now that you're with me." I heard him giggle. Greene mumbled something.

"Oh, oh what was that Greene?" I made a cupping motion over my ear. "I'm sorry you have to share my brain with Lionel."

She hissed in response.

_Awww, don't worry_! Lionel said. _It'll be fun._

I chuckled and stood up. It was time to go home. "Yeah...It will be."


End file.
